I’m Annie, your Head Coach 😝 for #MunchMay. And today we’re going to dismantle a myth: “If he really cared, he’d just know.” Sis… no, he wouldn’t. Not without your help, your voice, your cues, confidence and correction. Not because he’s incapable—but because he’s been misinformed, miseducated, and misled by the same systems that failed you. He grew up with the same porn, patriarchal programming, and parroted pride that taught performance over presence. Odds are, he hasn’t had a partner give honest feedback or clear direction. So even when he wants to please you, he’s working off old scripts, unchecked assumptions, fake moans, silence disguised as satisfaction and no real feedback.
So I need you to know a man can be devoted to your pleasure and still be completely clueless. He can be eager, generous—and still ineffective. Because it’s not just about effort—it’s about education. And the ones who genuinely care want to be taught. They don’t want to be resented or roasted. They want to be guided. But if you stay silent, vague, or fake it to protect his pride, he’ll keep thinking he’s doing great—while you stay stuck in a cycle of quiet disappointment. Because this isn’t just about getting head—it’s about getting heard. Below we’re sharing men's confessions about what they actually think about being coached in bed:
10 Men Share What They Wish Women Knew About Oral Sex
Jordan, 41 – “I wish she would've told me sooner.”
“She always seemed satisfied. At least that’s what I thought. She moaned. She smiled. She told me I was great. So imagine how I felt when, a year into our relationship, she finally admitted she had faked almost every single orgasm. I was embarrassed—but mostly I was sad. Sad because I thought we were connecting, when really she was pretending and performing…out of fear. I wish she would've told me sooner. Her silence didn’t protect me—it distanced us. I wasn’t offended that she needed more. I was hurt that she didn’t think she could come to me with the truth. I would’ve loved to learn what she really likes sooner.”
Ty, 30 – “I love doing it, but I’m never sure if it’s working.”
"I’m obsessed with eating my girl out. Like, it genuinely turns me on to see her arch her back or grip the sheets. But I’ll be honest—sometimes I can’t tell if she’s really enjoying it or just being polite. I’ve asked her, ‘Is this okay?’ and she always says yes, but I want more than okay. I want to master her body. I just wish she’d guide me without feeling bad about it. I’m not sensitive. I’m hungry to learn.”
Andrés, 29 – “Silence is the opposite of intimacy.”
“Every time a woman doesn’t tell me what she likes, I feel like I’m shooting in the dark. It’s frustrating because I want her to enjoy herself. That’s the whole point. But if she stays quiet, I assume everything’s fine. I used to think asking ‘what do you like?’ would kill the mood, but now I know not asking is what actually kills connection. Silence isn’t sexy—it’s a wall. I’ve learned to say, ‘Show me what feels good,’ or ‘Tell me what turns you on,’ because that’s when we start co-creating something. Otherwise, we’re just two people in the same bed having completely separate experiences.”
Jeremiah, 29–“I could tell she wanted to take control, but something stopped her.”
“We were in it—like, I was all the way locked in, giving her my best. And then I felt her hand on my head. Soft at first. She kind of tensed up, then pulled away. Like she wanted to guide me—but talked herself out of it. I remember thinking, “Damn… what was that?” Not in a bad way. Just… curious. Later, she told me she felt the urge to take over but didn’t want to seem aggressive. I was shocked. Because to me? That would’ve been sexy as hell. I wanted her to show me what worked.”
Andre, 41 —“I want to feel like she’s in charge of me.”
“As an attorney, my day is filled with decisions, strategizing and power plays. But in the bedroom? I want to hand over the reins. I want to feel like she’s in charge of me. And when it comes to oral, nothing turns me on more than a woman who treats it like her right to be served first and thoroughly. But it’s soft to say that. You grow up being told ‘men lead, women follow.’ So wanting the opposite? That’s not just taboo—it’s lonely. I’ve had partners who liked receiving, sure. But they were passive, polite and quiet. I don’t want that. I want commands. I want her to rape my face and not ask if it’s okay. And if she doesn’t speak up or take charge, I leave the experience feeling like something’s missing. I don’t want to please a woman who’s afraid to own her pleasure. I want one who demands it. Who uses me without apology. And who lets me surrender fully—because that’s where the real connection happens.”
Drew, 40 – “I didn’t realize my ‘Let me know when you’re close’ was a trigger.”
“I used to say, “Let me know when you’re about to cum,” thinking that was hot. But one partner told me it made her feel like I was trying to fast-forward. Like the only part that mattered was the end. She said, “It feels like I have to hurry up and cum.” That was a wake-up call. I started reading her cues more—her hips, her breath, the little shifts in her body. I stopped obsessing over the orgasm and focused on the build. And funny enough, once I stopped rushing the ending, she started having way more of them. Now I don’t need her to announce it. I’m there with her the whole way.”
Elias, 35 — “I wish they knew how sexy it is to take control.”
“I’m a firefighter who’s trained to run toward danger. I lead a squad of ten and I’ve pulled people from burning buildings. So yeah, I know I give alpha energy. But when I’m between a woman’s legs? I want to surrender. I want her to grab my head, use me and tell me what she needs. But that’s not easy to say. Society doesn’t make space for men like me to want to be dominated. It’s like our masculinity only gets validated when we’re leading—never when we’re offering. So I keep quiet and hope she’ll take charge. But if she doesn’t, I end up giving vanilla, respectful head as she just lays there. And I’m sorry… but I don’t want a pillow princess. I want a demon. I want to be broken open by her confidence. I want her to use me for her pleasure and leave me breathless. But most women don’t realize I’m down for that. I wish they knew how sexy it is to take control.”
Malik, 33 – “My ego needed to hear I was doing it right—but lies didn’t help.”
“I’ll keep it real—I love praise. I take pride in being good in bed. So when a woman tells me I’m amazing, it feeds something in me. But one time, a partner I thought I was satisfying told a friend that the head I gave ‘wasn’t giving.’ And that hurt. Not because she had notes—but because I never got the chance to fix it. She ghosted me after the first time. I don’t want to be dragged in a group chat or whispered about like I didn’t care. Because I do care. I want to get it right—for her, and yes, for my ego too. Fake moans and generic compliments just led me to believe I was handling my business, until I was blocked 😫 I would have done what she wanted gladly. I just can’t read minds. I welcome honesty, even when it humbles me. ”
Nico, 34 — “She’s not just allowed to boss me—I’m begging for it.”
“I was a linebacker in the UFL. On the field, I dominated. Now, I coach. I’m big, aggressive, and most people expect me to be the one in control. And yeah, I like taking the lead sometimes. But when I go down on a woman, I want her to boss me around. I want her to own the rhythm, pace and pressure. I want her to grab my head, grind on my face, tell me exactly what the f*ck to do. But real talk? It’s rare. Most women just moan a little and say thank you when it’s done. That’s not what I want. I want commands, corrections, and to give up control. But it’s hard to say that out loud. You risk being misunderstood, or worse—judged. So unless she initiates that energy, I don’t usually get the experience I crave. And I hate when women think they have to be a passive pillow princess. I want a woman to own me and make me her mouth slave.”
Jeffrey, 37 – “I want to serve—without being praised for it.”
“There’s something so f*cking sexy about a woman taking her pleasure seriously. Like, when she looks down at me and says, “Don’t stop. Stay right there.”—it’s not a request. It’s an order. And that shit gets me going. I want her to grab the back of my head and grind her clit into my face like I’m a tool. I want her to cum on my tongue like it’s my job—because it is. Assertive women don’t scare me. They turn me on. Give me a woman who owns her pleasure, and I’ll give her everything I’ve got until her legs are shaking and her stomach caves in.”
Ready to Speak Up and Receive? The Munch Manual Will Guide You
For the sake of space, we only included 10 stories here. The full 20 stories are in Chapter 4 of The Munch Manual, which we’re gifting you for free this month only. But I hope you now know that men want to please you. They crave direction. And many of them are turned on by your confidence. Some wish you told them what you liked sooner. Others admitted they felt lost in the quiet. And then there are the ones who want you to grab their head and own your orgasm like a woman who knows she deserves to be worshipped. If you’re just learning that today, I’m so sorry you’ve believed the lies society told you. I’m so sorry you were taught to be grateful, not vocal. To perform, not direct. To protect his confidence, even at the cost of your climax. Because somewhere along the way, that made you believe your silence made you desirable. When the truth is your voice makes you powerful. Inside the guide, you’ll learn how to:
🤐Transcend the shame cycle that keeps you silent
👄 Speak up without guilt or apology
🗣️Advocate for clit-centered, toe-curling oral
💦Stop performing and start receiving
Your pleasure deserves the spotlight and as your devoted Erotic Educators, we want you to prioritize it unapologetically. We love and appreciate the support you constantly shower us with. Your love is recognized, acknowledged and appreciated 💖 Enjoy your day Queen ✨
